Nathan is my brother. We get along very well as long as we aren't living in the same city.

Send my brother an e-mail at jackspade @ Tell him you're being shady.

Nathan Does the Forbidden Dance

The Rules
  1. First and foremost, The harder you try to do something, or act a certain way, the more the opposite of your goal occurs. This can be true in all facets of life, not just girls.

  2. Girls never do what you want or expect them to do. Quite often, it seems that they try to do the opposite.

  3. In any given relationship, one of you will undoubtedly desire a different level of commitment than the other.

  4. The girl you like will undoubtedly fall madly in love with a complete wanker before she ever notices you.

  5. No matter how hard you try to keep yourself in check, you will always make an ass of yourself. This being the case, you will attract nothing but girls you hate.

  6. As soon as you commit to a relationship, you immediately realize that she is not the right girl.

  7. There is absolutely no chance in hell you will figure out how the female mind works.

  8. Even if you did, it probably wouldn't help.

  9. You will never have a "normal" relationship. These occur only on TV shows and in movies.

  10. For a period of time, I thought that playing the hard-ass worked wonders. Act like you're not interested, and for some reason, girls will suddenly fall all over you. Actually, this is completely wrong.

Composed by a bitter, jaded Nathan Bell in the Fall of '98. Any comments, suggestions, or arguments are welcome.

Nathan As Poet:

Nate and Hans
This is Me & Hans.
We are Hams.
I'm not sure whose
Elbow it is.
Isn't that a Haiku?

Nathan As Fool:

Fire Hose

Backstage. Chicago. 1999.

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